


Hold On

by Neptunium134



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, M/M, Overdosing, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-27
Updated: 2019-01-27
Packaged: 2019-10-17 14:13:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17561981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neptunium134/pseuds/Neptunium134
Summary: Loving and fightingAccusing, denyingI can't imagine a world with you goneThe joy and the chaos, the demons we're made ofI'd be so lost if you left me alone





	Hold On

**Author's Note:**

> https://youtu.be/phiQ7Hu52NQ
> 
>  
> 
> Contains mentions of suicide attempt by overdoing
> 
> PROCEED WITH CAUTION

The apartment was quiet.

 

Too quiet. 

 

_ Far  _ too quiet.

 

Sergey frowned as he opened the door to his and Lance’s shared flat. He shoved his keys back into his pocket and hung his coat up. His backpack was dumped on the floor next to his trainers.

 

The Russian poked his head around the living room door. “Lance?” he called.

 

No answer.

 

_ Unusual _ , Sergey thought.  _ Maybe he’s just asleep _ .

 

Sergey headed into the bedroom. The sheets were made, with no indication of disturbance.

The door to their shared bathroom was closed, the light shining through the slit at the bottom.

 

_ Okay, maybe he’s just taking a bath, _ the Russian silently pleaded.  _ Please let him be taking a bath. _

 

A strong force drew him to the door, fear toiling in his stomach, his breathing quickening as he approached the door.

 

Fist raised, ready to knock, a yank on his heart made him stop. His hand closed around the door handle, tugging on it.

 

It was locked.

 

Panicking, his heart hammering in his chest, tears burning in his eyes as he threw himself against the door.

_ Again _

_ And again _

_ And again _

An-

 

The door gave way and Sergey barrelled into the bathroom.

 

He collapsed onto his knees when he saw his boyfriend collapsed face-down on the floor, an almost- empty bottle of pills laying inches away from his right hand, his left arm covering his face. Pink, blue, white and grey pills scattered on the floor near the opening of the bottle.

 

Lance’s eyes were closed, his breathing shallow, near non-existent.

 

Sergey gathered the Canadian into his arms, pressing two fingers to his pulse point on his neck.

 

There was a beat, small and faint, but it was there.

 

He fumbled for his phone, calling an ambulance, holding onto his boyfriend, tears streaming down his cheeks.

 

“Please don’t leave me!” Sergey screamed. “Hold on, I still want you.”

 

_ Come back, I still need you… _

 

The paramedics arrived, bundling Lance into the ambulance, speeding off into the night, sirens screaming loudly.

 

_ A long endless highway, you’re silent beside me, driving a nightmare I can’t escape from. _

_ Helplessly praying the light isn’t fading, hiding the shock and chill in my bones. _

 

Sergey bit his lip, wiping tears away that stubbornly still flowed down his cheeks.

 

The ambulance raced down the road, too slow for Sergey’s liking.

 

Hell, even Lewis’ Mercedes at full speed would’ve been too slow.

 

His phone was blowing up, messages from Fernando, Valtteri, Kimi, Stoffel, Charles, Daniel, Max, Sebastian, Lewis, Nico, Sergio, Pierre, Brendon, Marcus, Kevin and Esteban flooded his text inbox.

 

The ambulance pulled up at the hospital and Lance was rushed into surgery, the doctors leaving Sergey in the dirt in their rush to save the Canadian.

 

The Russian’s legs felt like jelly, barely staying upright as he wobbled over to the waiting area. 

A hand on his shoulder pulled him out of his daze and he looked up to see Esteban standing next to him.

 

The Frenchman didn’t say a word, no words could be said, instead pulled Sergey in for a hug, letting the older driver soak his t-shirt with tears.

 

The rest of the grid filed around them, some on chairs, others on the floor, all in silence, waiting for news of their youngest driver.

 

_ Hold on, I still want you _

_ Come back, I still need you. _

 

A doctor came out, ushering Sergey into a private recovery room.

 

Lance lay still in the bed, almost as white as the sheets that surrounded him.

 

Sergey took his hand, not daring to let go.

 

_ I don't wanna let go, I know I'm not that strong, I just wanna hear you saying “Baby let's go home…” _

 

“Let's go home, I just wanna take you home,” Sergey whispered.

 

“Hold on, I still want you.” 

 

“Come back, I still need you.”

 

He rested his forehead against Lance's.

  
  
  


“We still need you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Oh look, another Lance suicide! (ish)
> 
> Welp, this was something.
> 
> Y'know, I'm actually kinda proud of this, I think it works with the song and I quite enjoyed writing it.
> 
> Anyways, I found this song on a Langst book (I forgot who by, I'll find it later), but they made Lance overdose, so I thought to myself (at, like, 2am), "Hey, why not write one similar but with Lance and Sergey? You know, cuz everyone wanted that!" so here it is.
> 
> Tell me what you thought about it!


End file.
